I so badly want to love fully and open heartedly with no self inflicted restrictions or rules or secrets or walls. The barriers around my heart have been so high for so very long that yes, danger was kept out.. but what is the point if I kept love out too? I Get in relationships and poison the air that surrounds them just to force unhappiness on my own terms, instead of walking around blissfully in love and getting slapped in the face with reality. The web I weave is intricate, beautiful, and so very immobilizing all at the same time.
I’m pretty sure at this point that I function solely upon impulse. That being said my life ends up being an absolutely gorgeous horrendous color, the vibrant aching color of self destruction.
Haunting. Beautiful song that I can’t let go of.